Avoidant Coping: Is Putting Off the Problem Protection or Risk?
Avoidant coping: looking away, at least for now
Avoidant coping describes the tendency to put off or look away from a stressful situation, at least at first.
It’s one of the most misunderstood strategies: it isn’t “doing nothing” for no reason, but a way, sometimes useful and sometimes costly, of protecting yourself from distress that feels too big to face right away.
If you’d like to explore whether this is your dominant pattern under stress, our stress coping quiz measures it in a few minutes.
Where it comes from: a category with its own history
In Richard Lazarus and Susan Folkman’s original questionnaire, the Ways of Coping, escape-avoidance and distancing were already scales, classified under emotion-focused coping (Folkman et al., 1986). Over time, other researchers saw that moving away from the problem worked differently from moving toward the emotion in order to work with it.
Susan Roth and Lawrence Cohen (1986) proposed organizing all coping along an axis of approach versus avoidance, and Norman Endler and James Parker (1990) built an inventory with three dimensions: task-oriented, emotion-oriented and avoidance-oriented coping. That’s the origin of avoidance as a major category in its own right, which is the one our quiz uses.
What the data say: relief now, cost later
The key reference is the meta-analysis by Jerry Suls and Barbara Fletcher (1985). Comparing studies in which people either avoided or attended to a source of pain, stress or anxiety, they found that avoidance was linked to better adjustment in the short term. Over time, by contrast, paying attention to the problem produced better outcomes.
That double edge explains why avoidance is so tempting: the relief is immediate and real. It also explains the risk, because the cause of the stress is still there, and in many cases it grows.
Later studies point in the same direction. In the meta-analysis by Amelia Aldao, Susan Nolen-Hoeksema and Susanne Schweizer (2010), avoidance as a habitual strategy showed a medium to large association with symptoms of anxiety and depression. It’s a correlational finding, but consistent with the above: what works as a pause doesn’t work the same way as a permanent style.
Why “just not thinking about it” isn’t enough
A common way of avoiding is trying to push the uncomfortable thought away. Daniel Wegner and his team (1987) asked a group of participants not to think about a white bear for a few minutes: the thought kept coming back, and once the ban was lifted it appeared even more often than in those who had been allowed to think about it from the start. Suppressing a thought tends to keep it more present.
Common ways of avoiding without calling it that
- Systematic procrastination: putting off tasks or conversations that cause distress, even when they’re urgent.
- Constant distraction: filling your time with other things so you don’t have to think about what’s worrying you.
- Minimizing: downplaying a problem so you don’t have to deal with it yet.
- Evasive delegation: asking someone else to handle something not because they’ll do it better, but to avoid facing it yourself.
Picture a letter from the bank that arrives and sits unopened on the table for several days. Every time the person glances at it they feel a pang of discomfort, and every time they decide “I’ll look at it later, when I’m calmer.”
The actual amount, whatever it is, doesn’t change because the letter stays closed. All that changes is how long the background anxiety lasts and, sometimes, the window to react without extra cost.
The price that rises over time
The cost of avoidance is almost never fixed: in many cases it grows the longer it’s put off. An uncomfortable conversation with a coworker gets harder the longer it’s been pending, because the accumulated discomfort adds to the original issue. A minor health problem left unchecked can get more complicated, and a small unmanaged debt racks up interest.
That doesn’t make avoidance an automatic mistake. Sometimes the situation improves on its own, or the moment to face it hasn’t arrived yet. But it is the reason this style, more than the other three, deserves checking in on fairly often: whether what’s being avoided is still as manageable as it was at first, or whether the room to act without extra cost is shrinking.
From pause to first step
What research describes isn’t getting rid of this style, but finding its place: a short pause before something big can be perfectly adaptive. The meta-analysis by Cecilia Cheng and her team (2014) on coping flexibility links better adjustment to the ability to switch strategies to suit the situation, rather than always using the same one.
Breaking down whatever triggers avoidance into one very small, concrete first step, something that can be done in a few minutes, tends to reduce the initial resistance more than trying to tackle it all at once. Social support coping also helps when the step feels too big to take alone.
In popular writing, Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now, 1997) describes something similar in different language: acknowledging the discomfort you’re sidestepping, instead of continuing to act from it without realizing it. It isn’t a study, but the idea of naming what you’re avoiding and why it creates so much resistance is consistent with what is known about suppression.
This article is for informational purposes and doesn’t replace an evaluation by a mental health professional.
Sources
- Aldao, A., Nolen-Hoeksema, S. and Schweizer, S. (2010). Emotion-regulation strategies across psychopathology: A meta-analytic review. Clinical Psychology Review, 30(2), 217-237. doi:10.1016/j.cpr.2009.11.004
- Cheng, C., Lau, H.-P. B. and Chan, M.-P. S. (2014). Coping flexibility and psychological adjustment to stressful life changes: A meta-analytic review. Psychological Bulletin, 140(6), 1582-1607. doi:10.1037/a0037913
- Endler, N. S. and Parker, J. D. A. (1990). Multidimensional assessment of coping: A critical evaluation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 58(5), 844-854. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.58.5.844
- Folkman, S., Lazarus, R. S., Dunkel-Schetter, C., DeLongis, A. and Gruen, R. J. (1986). Dynamics of a stressful encounter: Cognitive appraisal, coping, and encounter outcomes. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 50(5), 992-1003. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.50.5.992
- Lazarus, R. S. and Folkman, S. (1984). Stress, appraisal, and coping. Springer.
- Roth, S. and Cohen, L. J. (1986). Approach, avoidance, and coping with stress. American Psychologist, 41(7), 813-819. doi:10.1037/0003-066X.41.7.813
- Suls, J. and Fletcher, B. (1985). The relative efficacy of avoidant and nonavoidant coping strategies: A meta-analysis. Health Psychology, 4(3), 249-288. doi:10.1037/0278-6133.4.3.249
- Tolle, E. (1997). The Power of Now. Namaste Publishing.
- Wegner, D. M., Schneider, D. J., Carter, S. R. and White, T. L. (1987). Paradoxical effects of thought suppression. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 53(1), 5-13. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.53.1.5
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Frequently asked questions
Is avoidant coping always negative?
No. The classic meta-analysis by Suls and Fletcher (1985) found that avoidance was linked to better short-term outcomes and that, over time, paying attention to the problem worked better. As a pause in the face of something overwhelming it can be adaptive; the cost appears when it becomes the only strategy and the problem keeps growing.
Why do I tend to put off things that stress me out?
It's usually a way of protecting yourself from the immediate discomfort of facing the problem. The relief is real and arrives right away, which reinforces the habit, even if the problem is still there or grows.
How can I move from avoiding to facing something?
The coping literature links breaking a problem down into one small, concrete first step with less initial resistance than tackling it all at once. When avoidance causes significant distress or spreads to many areas of life, guidance from a professional is the right path.
Is distracting yourself the same as avoiding?
It depends on how it's used. A short, chosen distraction to recover your strength before going back to the problem works as a pause. When the distraction serves to never go back, it's doing the job of avoidance.
Is this result a diagnosis?
No. It's an orientation-only, informational approximation, not a validated clinical scale.
