This test doesn't measure your attachment style, it measures specific patterns in your current relationship: feeling drained after time with your partner, trouble voicing complaints without feeling guilty, isolation from other people, or intense cycles of tension and reconciliation.
- Healthy relationship: these patterns barely show up in your relationship.
- Warning signs: some patterns are present and worth paying attention to.
- Marked toxic pattern: several patterns show up together and consistently.
15 statements, about 3-4 minutes. Answer with your current romantic relationship in mind.
All possible results
Healthy Relationship
The patterns of exhaustion, guilt, or isolation this test measures barely seem present in your relationship.
See the detail
“A healthy relationship isn't one without conflict: it's one where conflict doesn't systematically leave one of the two people feeling worse about themselves.”
What this score means
Your answers don't show the patterns of erosion, blame, or isolation often described in troubled relationships. This doesn't mean a perfect relationship free of disagreements, it means one where those disagreements don't consistently erode your wellbeing.
How it shows up day to day
- You come away from time with your partner with energy, not systematically drained.
- Voicing a complaint doesn't make you feel disproportionately guilty.
- You keep up your relationships with friends and family as usual.
An important clarification
This result is orientation-only and informational, inspired by Bowlby and Ainsworth's attachment theory and later research on the topic: it isn't a diagnosis and doesn't replace an assessment by a mental health professional.
Relationship with Warning Signs
Some patterns of exhaustion, guilt, or imbalance are present in your relationship and are worth paying attention to.
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“A single warning sign doesn't define a relationship; several signs repeating themselves start to sketch out a pattern worth looking at directly.”
What this score means
Your answers point to some of the patterns couples psychology associates with troubled dynamics (an imbalance in who has to explain themselves, trouble disagreeing without guilt, intense cycles of tension and reconciliation), without reaching the more marked, sustained pattern of the high score.
How it shows up day to day
- You sometimes avoid telling your partner something because you already know how they'll react.
- On some topics, you notice you end up feeling guilty instead of heard.
- The good and bad moments in the relationship are fairly intense, without much middle ground.
What's worth watching
It's worth noticing whether these patterns are one-off (tied to a rough patch, an external stressful moment) or whether they repeat consistently regardless of context: that repetition is usually what makes the difference.
An important clarification
This result is orientation-only and informational, inspired by Bowlby and Ainsworth's attachment theory and later research on the topic: it isn't a diagnosis and doesn't replace an assessment by a mental health professional.
Marked Toxic Pattern
Several patterns of exhaustion, guilt, isolation, or intense cycles of tension and reconciliation show up together and consistently.
See the detail
“When doubting your own version of events becomes routine, it isn't that your memory is bad: it's that the relationship's pattern is training you to distrust yourself.”
What this score means
Your answers bring together several patterns couples psychology associates with harmful relationships: sustained exhaustion, trouble voicing complaints without guilt, progressive isolation from other close people, and marked cycles of tension followed by gestures of reconciliation that never actually resolve the underlying conflict.
How it shows up day to day
- You routinely come away from time with your partner drained rather than energized.
- Your confidence in yourself has dropped since this relationship began.
- You've sometimes thought that if you told someone outside the relationship about this, they'd be worried about you.
What to do with this information
This result doesn't determine what decision to make about the relationship: that depends on many personal factors. It is a reasonable signal to talk it through with someone you trust or with a mental health professional, especially if any of these patterns include control, humiliation, or fear toward your partner: in those cases, seeking specialized support as soon as possible is the most appropriate step.
An important clarification
This result is orientation-only and informational, inspired by Bowlby and Ainsworth's attachment theory and later research on the topic: it isn't a diagnosis and doesn't replace an assessment by a mental health professional.
Indicative result, not a diagnosis. It describes how you described yourself today, not a disorder or a clinical condition, and it does not replace assessment by a mental health professional. If what you are feeling overwhelms you or persists over time, consider talking it through with a professional.
How this test was built
This test doesn't measure your attachment style, but specific patterns in your current romantic relationship : exhaustion after contact, difficulty voicing complaints without guilt, isolation from other people, and intense cycles of tensio…
This result is not a clinical diagnosis nor a legal tool, and it does not replace an evaluation by a mental health professional.
This is a popular-science synthesis of warning signs described in the general clinical literature on romantic relationships, not a validated instrument with its own name, nor a diagnostic tool for abuse.
See the full methodology
What it measures
This test doesn't measure your attachment style, but specific patterns in your current romantic relationship: exhaustion after contact, difficulty voicing complaints without guilt, isolation from other people, and intense cycles of tension and reconciliation.
What model it uses
The test groups together relational warning signs described repeatedly across the general clinical literature on dysfunctional relationship dynamics, without corresponding to a single academic model with its own name:
- Sustained wear and exhaustion.
- Being made to feel guilty for voicing disagreement.
- Progressive isolation from friends and family.
- Cycles of tension followed by intense reconciliation that doesn't resolve the underlying conflict.
Where that model comes from
Unlike the other tests in this family, this one doesn't stem from a specific author or academic model: it's an original synthesis of warning signs described broadly across the clinical literature on problematic romantic relationships, without a single citable source with a name and year.
How the result is calculated
There are 15 statements grouped into four types of signs (exhaustion, guilt, isolation, tension-reconciliation cycles). Each answer scores all three result levels at once (healthy relationship, warning signs, marked toxic pattern); the level with the most accumulated points at the end defines your result. This test does not use consistency groups.
What your result means
The result indicates how many of these warning signs you recognize in your current romantic relationship, not a pattern you carry with you across different relationships (unlike the attachment style test).
What it does NOT mean
This result is not a clinical diagnosis nor a legal tool, and it does not replace an evaluation by a mental health professional. It also doesn't determine what decision to make about the relationship: that depends on many personal factors.
Limitations
This is a popular-science synthesis of warning signs described in the general clinical literature on romantic relationships, not a validated instrument with its own name, nor a diagnostic tool for abuse. It is self-administered and subject to the usual biases of self-report; if there is control, humiliation, or fear toward your partner, seeking specialized professional support is the right course of action, regardless of this test's result.
Academic references
- Síntesis propia basada en literatura clínica general sobre dinámicas de pareja disfuncionales y señales de alerta relacional; no se apoya en un estudio o autor único con nombre propio.
Frequently asked questions
Does this test diagnose abuse in a relationship?
No. It's a short, informational test that identifies patterns described by couples psychology (exhaustion, guilt, isolation, tension-reconciliation cycles). It isn't a clinical or legal tool. If there's control, humiliation, or fear toward your partner, seeking specialized professional support is the right path, regardless of any result from this test.
How is this different from the attachment style test?
The attachment style test measures a relational pattern you carry with you across different relationships. This test measures specific patterns in your current relationship, which can depend more on the dynamic with that particular person.
Is any relationship with arguments toxic?
No. Disagreement and conflict are a normal part of any relationship. What this test describes is a more specific pattern: sustained imbalance, blame, isolation, or cycles of tension that never get resolved at their root.
Can I take this test thinking about a friendship or family relationship instead of a romantic one?
The questions are written with a romantic relationship in mind, though several of the patterns (guilt, isolation, exhaustion) can also show up in other kinds of close relationships.
How long does the test take?
Between 3 and 4 minutes: 15 statements with five response options each.
See all 6 questions
Is it free?
Yes, it's completely free: no sign-up or payment needed to take the test and see your result.
