This test measures emotional dependency: how much your wellbeing, decisions, and identity revolve around your partner, beyond the normal affection or commitment found in any relationship.
- Low: you maintain a life, standards, and an identity of your own within the relationship.
- Moderate: you prioritize your partner quite a bit, without it fully absorbing your wellbeing.
- High: your mood and sense of worth depend heavily on the relationship.
15 statements, about 3-4 minutes. Think about your current romantic relationship or, if you don't have one, the pattern you recognize in past relationships.
All possible results
Low Emotional Dependency
You maintain an identity, standards, and wellbeing that stay reasonably independent from your romantic relationship.
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“Loving someone and needing that person's constant approval to feel okay with yourself are different things: the first is love, the second is a weight.”
What this score means
Your relationship holds an important place, but it doesn't systematically absorb your identity or your mood. You can disagree, set boundaries, or make decisions without needing constant validation.
How it shows up day to day
- You keep hobbies, friendships, and routines of your own outside the relationship.
- You voice disagreement without a disproportionate fear that the relationship will suffer for it.
- Your sense of worth doesn't rise or fall with how the relationship happens to be going at a given moment.
An important clarification
This result is orientation-only and informational, inspired by Bowlby and Ainsworth's attachment theory and later research on the topic: it isn't a diagnosis and doesn't replace an assessment by a mental health professional.
Moderate Emotional Dependency
You prioritize your partner quite heavily over your own needs, without it fully absorbing your wellbeing or identity.
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“Prioritizing someone you love is normal; doing it almost automatically, without ever weighing your own needs, is already something else.”
What this score means
Your answers show a real tendency to put the other person first and seek their approval, with some difficulty setting boundaries, but without the more pronounced dependency the high score describes.
How it shows up day to day
- It's hard for you to voice disagreement out of fear it'll hurt the relationship.
- You need your partner's approval to feel fully good about a decision.
- Outside of those points, you maintain your own space and standards.
An important clarification
This result is orientation-only and informational, inspired by Bowlby and Ainsworth's attachment theory and later research on the topic: it isn't a diagnosis and doesn't replace an assessment by a mental health professional.
High Emotional Dependency
Your mood, decisions, and sense of personal worth depend heavily on your romantic relationship.
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“When your own wellbeing depends almost entirely on a single relationship, any tension within it feels like a threat to something much bigger than the relationship itself.”
What this score means
Psychologist Jorge Castelló Blasco, a leading Spanish-language author on this topic, describes emotional dependency as an excessive need for the other person that goes beyond normal affection: it includes subordination within the relationship, intense fear of breakup, and self-esteem tightly tied to the bond. Your answers point in that direction.
How it shows up day to day
- You've dropped hobbies, friendships, or routines of your own to spend more time on the relationship.
- You idealize your partner even in the face of clear signs something isn't working.
- It's hard for you to admit, even to yourself, when the relationship isn't good for you.
An important difference from anxious attachment
Emotional dependency shares with anxious attachment the fear of losing the bond, but it puts more emphasis on subordination (giving up your own standards, preferences, or space) than on simply seeking reassurance.
An important clarification
This result is orientation-only and informational, inspired by Bowlby and Ainsworth's attachment theory and later research on the topic: it isn't a diagnosis and doesn't replace an assessment by a mental health professional.
Indicative result, not a diagnosis. It describes how you described yourself today, not a disorder or a clinical condition, and it does not replace assessment by a mental health professional. If what you are feeling overwhelms you or persists over time, consider talking it through with a professional.
How this test was built
This test measures emotional dependency : the extent to which your well-being, decisions, and identity revolve around your partner, beyond the normal affection or commitment of a relationship.
This result is not a clinical diagnosis and does not replace a mental health professional's evaluation.
This is a self-administered, informational version of a clinical characterization, not a psychometrically validated or protected diagnostic instrument, nor the Adult Attachment Interview.
See the full methodology
What it measures
This test measures emotional dependency: the extent to which your well-being, decisions, and identity revolve around your partner, beyond the normal affection or commitment of a relationship.
What model it uses
The test is based on the clinical characterization of emotional dependency by psychologist Jorge Castelló Blasco, who distinguishes it from anxious attachment by emphasizing subordination (giving up your own standards, preferences, or space) rather than the simple search for reassurance:
- Excessive need for the other person, beyond normal affection.
- Intense fear of the relationship ending.
- Self-esteem closely tied to the relationship.
- Subordination of your own needs to the other person's.
Where that model comes from
Castelló Blasco developed this characterization in Dependencia emocional: características y tratamiento (2005), drawing on the general literature on adult attachment (Bowlby, Hazan and Shaver) to explain why this pattern tends to take hold more easily in people with a history of insecure attachment.
How the result is calculated
There are 15 statements focused on indicators of emotional dependency (subordination, idealization, difficulty setting limits, self-esteem tied to the relationship). Each answer scores all three result levels (low, moderate, high) at once; the level with the most accumulated points at the end defines your result. This test does not use consistency groups.
What your result means
The result indicates how much emotional dependency weighs on your current relationship (or on the pattern you recognize in past relationships, if you're not currently in one). It's a position on a continuum, not a fixed label.
What it does NOT mean
This result is not a clinical diagnosis and does not replace a mental health professional's evaluation. Nor does it imply the relationship itself is bad: the problem isn't always the relationship, but how much your own well-being depends on it.
Limitations
This is a self-administered, informational version of a clinical characterization, not a psychometrically validated or protected diagnostic instrument, nor the Adult Attachment Interview. Like any self-report, it is subject to social desirability and self-perception biases.
Academic references
- Castelló Blasco, J. (2005). Dependencia emocional: características y tratamiento. Alianza Editorial.
- Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and Loss, Vol. 1: Attachment. Basic Books.
- Hazan, C., & Shaver, P. (1987). Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52(3), 511-524.
Frequently asked questions
Is emotional dependency the same as anxious attachment?
They're related but not identical. Anxious attachment centers on fear of abandonment and the need for reassurance; emotional dependency also adds the subordination of your own needs, preferences, and space to your partner's.
What is this test based on?
The clinical characterization of emotional dependency described by psychologist Jorge Castelló Blasco (subordination, desire for exclusivity, fear of breakup, low self-esteem), together with the broader literature on adult attachment.
Does emotional dependency only happen in bad relationships?
Not necessarily. It can coexist with a relationship that, objectively, works well: the problem isn't always the relationship itself, it's how much your own wellbeing depends on it.
What should I do if my result is high?
This test is orientation-only and doesn't replace a professional assessment. If you recognize several of these patterns and they're causing you distress, talking to a psychologist is the most appropriate path for working through it with real support.
How long does the test take?
Between 3 and 4 minutes: 15 statements with five response options each.
See all 6 questions
Is it free?
Yes, it's completely free: no sign-up or payment needed to take the test and see your result.
