This test measures emotional dependency: how much your wellbeing, decisions, and identity revolve around your partner, beyond the normal affection or commitment found in any relationship.
- Low: you maintain a life, standards, and an identity of your own within the relationship.
- Moderate: you prioritize your partner quite a bit, without it fully absorbing your wellbeing.
- High: your mood and sense of worth depend heavily on the relationship.
15 statements, about 3-4 minutes. Think about your current romantic relationship or, if you don't have one, the pattern you recognize in past relationships.
All possible results
Low Emotional Dependency
You maintain an identity, standards, and wellbeing that stay reasonably independent from your romantic relationship.
Read more about Low Emotional Dependency
“Loving someone and needing that person's constant approval to feel okay with yourself are different things: the first is love, the second is a weight.”
What this score means
Your relationship holds an important place, but it doesn't systematically absorb your identity or your mood. You can disagree, set boundaries, or make decisions without needing constant validation.
How it shows up day to day
- You keep hobbies, friendships, and routines of your own outside the relationship.
- You voice disagreement without a disproportionate fear that the relationship will suffer for it.
- Your sense of worth doesn't rise or fall with how the relationship happens to be going at a given moment.
An important clarification
This result is orientation-only and informational, inspired by Bowlby and Ainsworth's attachment theory and later research on the topic: it isn't a diagnosis and doesn't replace an assessment by a mental health professional.
Moderate Emotional Dependency
You prioritize your partner quite heavily over your own needs, without it fully absorbing your wellbeing or identity.
Read more about Moderate Emotional Dependency
“Prioritizing someone you love is normal; doing it almost automatically, without ever weighing your own needs, is already something else.”
What this score means
Your answers show a real tendency to put the other person first and seek their approval, with some difficulty setting boundaries, but without the more pronounced dependency the high score describes.
How it shows up day to day
- It's hard for you to voice disagreement out of fear it'll hurt the relationship.
- You need your partner's approval to feel fully good about a decision.
- Outside of those points, you maintain your own space and standards.
An important clarification
This result is orientation-only and informational, inspired by Bowlby and Ainsworth's attachment theory and later research on the topic: it isn't a diagnosis and doesn't replace an assessment by a mental health professional.
High Emotional Dependency
Your mood, decisions, and sense of personal worth depend heavily on your romantic relationship.
Read more about High Emotional Dependency
“When your own wellbeing depends almost entirely on a single relationship, any tension within it feels like a threat to something much bigger than the relationship itself.”
What this score means
Psychologist Jorge Castelló Blasco, a leading Spanish-language author on this topic, describes emotional dependency as an excessive need for the other person that goes beyond normal affection: it includes subordination within the relationship, intense fear of breakup, and self-esteem tightly tied to the bond. Your answers point in that direction.
How it shows up day to day
- You've dropped hobbies, friendships, or routines of your own to spend more time on the relationship.
- You idealize your partner even in the face of clear signs something isn't working.
- It's hard for you to admit, even to yourself, when the relationship isn't good for you.
An important difference from anxious attachment
Emotional dependency shares with anxious attachment the fear of losing the bond, but it puts more emphasis on subordination (giving up your own standards, preferences, or space) than on simply seeking reassurance.
An important clarification
This result is orientation-only and informational, inspired by Bowlby and Ainsworth's attachment theory and later research on the topic: it isn't a diagnosis and doesn't replace an assessment by a mental health professional.
Frequently asked questions
Is emotional dependency the same as anxious attachment?
They're related but not identical. Anxious attachment centers on fear of abandonment and the need for reassurance; emotional dependency also adds the subordination of your own needs, preferences, and space to your partner's.
What is this test based on?
The clinical characterization of emotional dependency described by psychologist Jorge Castelló Blasco (subordination, desire for exclusivity, fear of breakup, low self-esteem), together with the broader literature on adult attachment.
Does emotional dependency only happen in bad relationships?
Not necessarily. It can coexist with a relationship that, objectively, works well: the problem isn't always the relationship itself, it's how much your own wellbeing depends on it.
What should I do if my result is high?
This test is orientation-only and doesn't replace a professional assessment. If you recognize several of these patterns and they're causing you distress, talking to a psychologist is the most appropriate path for working through it with real support.
How long does the test take?
Between 3 and 4 minutes: 15 statements with five response options each.
Is it free?
Yes, it's completely free: no sign-up or payment needed to take the test and see your result.