Emotional Intelligence
Name It to Tame It: Putting Words to What You Feel
Disclaimer: This article describes a popularscience technique from psychiatrist Daniel Siegel and is intended purely for informational purp…
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Blog: page 2
Learning Style
Why the Adult Brain Keeps Making New Neurons
Until the late twentieth century, neuroscience took for granted something we now know was wrong: that the adult human brain was born with a…
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Learning Style
Why Stress Blocks Memory
Anyone who's ever blanked on an important exam, or struggled to recall something obvious in the middle of a tense argument, has experienced…
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Projective Tests
What Your Drawing Says, According to the Machover Method (and What the Real Evidence Says)
In 1949, clinical psychologist Karen Machover published Personality Projection in the Drawing of the Human Figure, a book that would become…
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Learning Style
What Is Ned Herrmann's Brain Dominance Model?
In the 1970s, consultant Ned Herrmann, who was then working in executive training at General Electric, asked an unusual question for the ti…
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Learning Style
What Is Brain Integration, According to Daniel Siegel?
Psychiatrist Daniel J. Siegel and psychotherapist Tina Payne Bryson, in their book The WholeBrain Child (2011), start from something we alr…
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Learning Style
What Is Neuroplasticity?
For much of the twentieth century, science described the nervous system as an almost fixed structure once brain maturation was complete: ri…
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Learning Style
What Roger Sperry's Split-Brain Experiment Revealed
In the mid1950s, neuroscientist Roger Sperry, then at the University of Chicago, made a discovery that would change how we understand the b…
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Projective Tests
Direct Stroke: What It Means to Draw Fast Within a Small Space
If the Expressive Style quiz gave you direct stroke as a result, your drawing combined high stroke speed with a small footprint on the canv…
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Projective Tests
Spontaneous Stroke: What It Means to Draw Fast Across the Whole Canvas
If the Expressive Style quiz gave you spontaneous stroke as your result, your drawing combined a high stroke speed with broad use of the ca…
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Projective Tests
Exploratory Stroke: What It Means to Draw Slowly Across the Whole Canvas
If the Expressive Style quiz gave you exploratory stroke as your result, your drawing combined a low stroke speed with broad use of the can…
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Projective Tests
Meticulous Stroke: what it means to draw slowly and small
If the expressive style test gave you meticulous stroke as your result, your drawing combined two things: a low stroke speed (you moved slo…
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Relationships and Social Life
Connecting Isn't the Same as Relating: The Trap of Confusing Networks With Bonds
"Connecting" and "relating" sound almost like synonyms, but Zygmunt Bauman argues they aren't: a relationship obligates, a connection doesn…
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Self-Awareness
Trusting a Stranger: Why It Used to Be the Norm, and Today Feels Like the Exception
Trusting a stranger, argued Danish philosopher Knud Løgstrup, is the natural default of human behavior; distrust is the exception that need…
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Relationships and Social Life
The Delete Button: Why Ghosting Hurts So Much in the Age of Dating Apps
A single line, recorded in a real University of Bath study and cited by Zygmunt Bauman, explains why online dating displaced the singles ba…
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Relationships and Social Life
Fear of Commitment: Why Every Modern Relationship Comes With a Built-In Exit
Every modern relationship, even if nobody says it out loud, comes with a builtin emergency exit. Sociologist Anthony Giddens called this th…
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Lifestyle and Attitudes
Phubbing: Why Ignoring Someone for Your Phone Weighs More Than We Think
Being permanently connected while permanently at a distance from the person right beside you: that's the exact paradox the word "phubbing"…
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Relationships and Social Life
Pocket Relationships: The Bond You Keep Tucked Away Until You Need It
A pocket relationship is a bond designed, from day one, not to grow: you tuck it away when you don't need it and take it out when you do. Z…
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Self-Awareness
Why Did Science Find That Narcissists Don't Secretly Hate Themselves?
For years, the commonsense explanation for narcissism was that, deep down, every narcissist secretly hates themselves. The research Kristin…
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Self-Awareness
Why Your Brain Reacts to Self-Criticism Like a Physical Threat
When you talk down to yourself, one of the oldest regions of your brain can react almost as if you were dodging a real threat. Kristin Neff…
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Relationships and Social Life
'I Love You Because I Need You' or 'I Need You Because I Love You': Erich Fromm's Line on Mature Love
Erich Fromm summed up the difference between childish and mature love in four very short sentences. Each one fits on a single line, and bet…
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Relationships and Social Life
Four Years Waiting for Her to Leave Her Husband: The Case That Explains Self-Deception in Love
A fortyoneyearold man has spent more than four years waiting for the married woman he's in love with to keep her promise to leave her husba…
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Relationships and Social Life
The Detective a Jealous Husband Hired, and Who His Wife Left Him For
A fiftytwoyearold man, afraid his wife (fifteen years younger and very attractive) would be unfaithful, set up a surveillance system in his…
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Relationships and Social Life
The Twenty-Minute Exercise Erich Fromm Recommended Before Trying to Love Better
Erich Fromm didn't believe love was a talent you're born with or without. He considered it an art, and like any art, he argued it demands p…
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Relationships and Social Life
The Problem a Phoenician Merchant, a Medieval Monk, and You Have in Common, According to Erich Fromm
According to Erich Fromm, a primitive caveman, an Egyptian shepherd, a Phoenician merchant, a Roman soldier, a medieval monk, a Japanese sa…
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Relationships and Social Life
The Woman Who Couldn't Sleep Without Being Held: What We Really Cling to in a Bad Relationship
Walter Riso tells the case of a woman who couldn't leave her husband (a cocaine user and openly bisexual) despite having no love left, no c…
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Relationships and Social Life
The Woman Who Shut Down Like an Engine Out of Fuel Whenever Her Husband Traveled
A patient of Walter Riso's stopped eating, getting dressed, and even getting out of bed every time her husband went on a business trip. Not…
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Relationships and Social Life
The Parable of Jonah: Why Erich Fromm Said Love Is Work, Not a Feeling
For Erich Fromm, loving isn't feeling something for someone: it's actively and consistently tending to that person, that idea, or that caus…
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Relationships and Social Life
Milk and Honey: Erich Fromm's Distinction Between Caring for Someone and Giving Them Joy
Erich Fromm distinguished two layers within a mother's love: one that keeps the child alive and safe, and another that conveys that being a…
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Relationships and Social Life
Why Telling Your Partner Everything Isn't Always an Act of Love, According to Walter Riso
"Honesty is the foundation of a good relationship" is one of the least questioned lines about romantic love. Walter Riso gathers several re…
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Relationships and Social Life
Why God Told Moses He Had No Name, According to Erich Fromm
When Moses asks God what he should call him before his people, the answer he gets, according to Erich Fromm, marks one of the most importan…
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Work and Productivity
Three real stories behind 'The Leader Who Had No Title,' Robin Sharma's leadership fable
Behind Robin Sharma's mostcited leadership fable are three stories that actually happened, and they teach more about leadership than most o…
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Business and Decisions
Why Praise Seems to Backfire and Scolding Seems to Work
Daniel Kahneman, psychologist and Nobel laureate in Economics, recounts in his book Thinking, Fast and Slow (2011) one of the episodes he h…
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Business and Decisions
Why Does Reading Words About Old Age Make You Walk Slower?
Daniel Kahneman, psychologist and Nobel laureate in Economics, devotes part of his book Thinking, Fast and Slow (2011) to describing one of…
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Business and Decisions
Why Do We Misremember the Pain of a Colonoscopy?
Daniel Kahneman, psychologist and Nobel laureate in Economics, describes in Thinking, Fast and Slow (2011) a real experiment, designed toge…
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Business and Decisions
Why Can a Random Number Change What You Think Something Is Worth?
Daniel Kahneman, psychologist and Nobel laureate in Economics, describes in Thinking, Fast and Slow (2011) one of the cognitive biases that…
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Love Languages
Acts of Service: loving through actions, not just words
Acts of Service: when helping is the clearest way to show love For people whose main language is acts of service, nice words can feel hollo…
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Self-Awareness
Problem-Focused Coping: Acting on the Cause of Stress
Problemfocused coping: act first, feel later Problemfocused coping is one of the two major styles described by psychologists Richard Lazaru…
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Self-Awareness
Emotion-Focused Coping: Processing How You Feel Before Acting
Emotionfocused coping: feel before you act Emotionfocused coping is the second major style in Richard Lazarus and Susan Folkman's classic m…
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Self-Awareness
Social Support Coping: Facing Stress Alongside Others
Social support coping: facing stress alongside others Social support coping describes a clear strategy: faced with stress, you actively tur…
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Self-Awareness
Avoidant Coping: Is Putting Off the Problem Protection or Risk?
Avoidant coping: looking away, at least for now Avoidant coping describes the tendency to put off or look away from a stressful situation,…
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Big Five
Agreeableness: The Trait Behind Kindness and Warmth
Agreeableness is the personality dimension that contrasts a prosocial, communityminded orientation toward others with outright antagonism.…
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Attachment Style
Anxious Attachment: When Fear of Abandonment Shapes the Bond
Anxious Attachment: Seeking Closeness to Quiet the Fear of Abandonment Anxious attachment shows up when the need for emotional closeness ru…
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Attachment Style
Disorganized Attachment: Caught Between Wanting Closeness and Distrusting It
Disorganized Attachment: Two Impulses Pulling in Opposite Directions Disorganized attachment combines the high fear of abandonment that def…
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Attachment Style
Avoidant Attachment: Independence as a Way to Stay Protected
Avoidant Attachment: When Independence Protects Against Closeness Avoidant attachment describes people who prioritize selfsufficiency and f…
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Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Self-Awareness: The Foundation of Emotional Intelligence
Emotional selfawareness: recognizing before reacting Emotional selfawareness is the ability to identify precisely what you're feeling while…
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Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Self-Regulation: Managing Without Repressing
Emotional selfregulation: feeling it without letting it decide for you Emotional selfregulation is the ability to manage an intense emotion…
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Business and Decisions
Calculated: Not Avoiding Risk, Analyzing It
The calculated style doesn't avoid risk: it analyzes it. It takes on what's needed when the benefit clearly outweighs the possible cost.
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Enneagram
How to Find Out Your Enneagram Type
Identifying your enneagram type means locating the deep psychological motivation that, under this model, drives a person's decisions. Clini…
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Attachment Style
Anxious-Avoidant Compatibility: The Trap That Catches Them Both
AnxiousAvoidant Compatibility: When Every Step One Takes Pushes the Other the Opposite Way The pairing of anxious attachment and avoidant a…
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